I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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