Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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