You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize