Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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