I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
