WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
