real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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