went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
