I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
