Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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