Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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