addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
