PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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