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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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