Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
