It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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