Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
