I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
