I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
