My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
