im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
