It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
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