Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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