I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
