____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
