8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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