then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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