porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
