I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
