dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
