he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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