I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
