At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
