Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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