Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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