she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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