Umm I'm too high to move.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
