the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
