There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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