My first STD was from a foam party
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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