Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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