people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
