They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
