He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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