Duck Duck Cougar?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
