i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
