This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
