i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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