Are we in a gay sports bar?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
