Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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