somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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