I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
