you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
