I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
