oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
