you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
