its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
