Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
