Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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