yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
