Redeem this text for a blowjob
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
dude. I can hear the air.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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