We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
