I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Randomize
