hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
