Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize