She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
