Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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