I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
