There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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