I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
