The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We are all done wearing pants today
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
