Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
