But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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