I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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