I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
