should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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