it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
