i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
