Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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