I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
